February 14th is Valentine’s Day, which is a holiday for romantic love, but there are myriads of other types of love. English and other languages have several words to identify the different types of love involving other people.
In English, love includes philia (a non-romantic love between family and friends), pragma (being committed to love with a romantic partner), storge (love between parents and children or between childhood friends), eros (a passionate love expressed through physical affection), ludus (infatuation and flirtation at the beginning of a romantic relationship), mania (obsessive love — although if this leads to stalking, I’m not sure this can really be considered a type of love); and philautia (self-love represented by recognizing self-worth and taking care of yourself ).
Romantic love can be a roller coaster full of highs and lows, but so can all of the other kinds, too. As far back as 1598, Shakespeare, in A Midsummer Night’s Dream, wrote,
“The course of true love never did run smooth.” Still, who would want a life without love? We can enjoy rose-garden days, but no one ever promised that great days would occur all the time. Instead, let’s embrace the love we do have at all times.
This way of thinking about love was expressed nicely in the song, “I Never Promised You a Rose Garden,” written by singer-songwriter Joe South. Here’s a version by Martina McBride:
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 states:
Love is long-suffering and kind. It does not envy; does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.”
Although this verse is often cited at weddings, the definitions can apply to every type of love.
For season 2, episode 16 of Parks and Recreation, Michael Shur wrote “Galentine’s Day,” about an event that occurred each year on the day before Valentiene’s Day when the main character Leslie Knope would get together to express her appreciation for her female friends. What’s not to love about this? Celebrating friendship is always wonderful. Why not have a “Manentine’s Day,” too?
One word relating to love for things other than people is aesthete. Dictionary.com defines aesthete as:
a person who has or professes to have refined sensitivity toward the beauties of art or nature.
a person who affects great love of art, music, poetry, etc., and indifference to practical matters.
I don’t know that I have any refined sensitivities toward art, but I confess to sometimes having indifference toward practical matters. (Exhibit A: This newsletter, at times, possibly even this February one).
Even so, I will never forget the first time I fell in love with art. I was looking through the World Book Encyclopedia as a child, and I saw a photograph of Andrew Wyeth’s painting “Wind from the Sea.” You can see a photo of that painting here: https://www.nga.gov/collection/art-object-page.143926.html.
Looking at that beautiful painting, I could feel the wind on my face as I stared at the flowing, time-worn lace curtains. There was somehow a sense of comfort transmitted to me through the imperfections of the cracks in the wall and the markings on the window shade. Those imperfections were part of something beautiful. I also saw possibilities for new experiences in the scenery beyond the inside of the room. In the blink of an eye, I fell in love with art and the works of Andrew Wyeth.
The reason I am talking about art in a blog about writing is because even as writers, we do not have to be committed to only one love in an aesthetic sense. We may love writing (or we probably wouldn’t do it), but we can also love art, dance, music, and various other non-people things. (Love people, too, of course).
Also, just because we do not do something well does not mean that we should not do it. (Exhibit B: My parody of “Christine’s World” by Andrew Wyeth).
If we are overly concerned about what others will think about us, we will never submit any manuscript for publication or enter a written piece in a contest. We must never let fear of rejection or the chance of ridicule silence us, whether that be in art or writing or music or dance or any other category of what we love.
Let’s put our work out there in the world. Rejection is not a death sentence, and we might get a positive result instead. But a positive result will not exist without an effort on our part. And if the result is not a positive result, so what? Life goes on.
Go ahead — swing on that star. I’m being true to my word, too. (Exhibit C: I am sharing my not-ready-for-primetime “art”).
Celebrate all the kinds of love in your life on February 14th, and remember, I love all of you and hope that all of you keep writing and sharing your writing!
This is wonderful. I love the way this flows and where it leads. Thanks for this, it was the message I needed to hear today.
An aesthete is the word for lover of art. I am a philologist, or lover of words or languages.