Writers Write
Who Writes This Stuff?
Hello, my name is Lisbeth, and I am a tv-aholic. I watch or have watched almost every sitcom ever written, all the Law and Orders, and plentiful reality shows (housewives, cooking and baking, competitions, ad nauseum).
I did not grow up watching much TV, not because I was some sort of intellectual highbrow, but because my large family (five children in my immediate family, plus my numerous cousins were usually with us, too) were always busy playing card games, Hide-and-Seek, Red Rover, Kick the Can, Green Light, and any other type of game you can probably name. Let me know in the comments if you ever played any of these games.
After graduating from college, I bought a TV and became addicted. And I have no shame about it.
If you aren’t watching the enigmatic, effervescent, optimist Maryanne on Survivor, you are leaving joy on the table. She once rosily chirped about her crush on a fellow survivor, then readily admitted that all of her crushes in her life had been 100 percent turned down by the crushee. She never lost the smile on her face while talking about personal rejections.
Oh, if only keeping a smile while getting rejections could be so easy for writers! The truth is for most of us that rejections hurt. You put your life, soul, and blood out into the world through your writing, then some editor slices a hatchet into your chest by saying one word to using your work in a publication. “No.”
There is no shame in hearing “No.” Still, that doesn’t keep your heart from being broken. It’s not easy, but all you can do is move on. No matter what you write, there’s a good chance that someone out there somewhere and someday will see the value in it. And you, the writer, should always know the value of it merely because of the fact that you wrote it.
I love the crime-based Lifetime movies, even though they tend to be fairly formulaic. Mr. X charms Ms. Y, everyone is happy for the couple, but Ms. Y begins to see the evil side of Mr. X, she tells her friends, no one believes her, she calls the police, the police do not believe her either, not even the particularly good-looking Cop Z, Ms. Y is seen as the crazy one, then something happens at Ms. Ys house, the police are called and arrive at the last minute to see Mr. X unmasked as a true psychopath as he prepares to stab Ms. Y, Mr. X gets arrested, Cop Z apologies and he and Ms. Y fall in love and are seen kissing at her house, but the last scene of the movie shows Mr. X leaving prison on early parole, then standing outside the house of Ms. Y. (How’s that for a run-on sentence?)
Sometimes, when I watch one of these movies, I think, “Who writes this stuff?” And I don’t mean it in an appreciative way. I mean, “How did this movie ever get made?”
Then, I stop myself. Who am I to judge? I’ve never had a script become a Lifetime movie. Somewhere, behind all the movies, even formulaically bad ones, there are writers. These are writers who dare to put their work in the public eye. So, good for them!
Also, I love how Lifetime has created a line of wink-wink commercials, acknowledging both proudly, humorously, and defiantly the absurdity of some of their content. The tagline for those commercials is, “Someone’s been watching Lifetime movies.” I know I have!
Good for Lifetime! Some writer did an excellent job on the ad.
Speaking of good, April 4th is my daughter Jamie’s birthday. I know, I know, worst segue ever, but I have to get to my “mommy brags.” Also, hang in there – I promise this will all tie in later.
In the summer of 2006, I attended the program for parents and new students at Parsons, the New School for Design in NYC. To be accepted, Jamie (like all other prospective students) had to submit a portfolio of her art and design work. She had only applied to art and design schools, but Parsons was her first choice, so she was thrilled to be accepted.
At the Parent/Student/Professor meeting before the first week of school, when the professor asked if there were any questions from the parents, one dad, beaming with pride, stood to make boastful statements, ending with a question.
He said, “My daughter was a Presidential Scholar who got 1600 on her SAT test. She was accepted to Harvard, Yale, and the University of Pennsylvania, but she wanted to go here to Parsons for their fashion program. She was accepted on her academic status. Because of her high intelligence, will she be given accelerated classes far beyond what the classes that the other students take?”
The professor responded, “Because you daughter was accepted on an academic basis, that tells me that she did not get accepted on the strength of her portfolio. So, she may have to take extra classes that other students don’t have to take to develop a stronger basis in art and design. Maybe, she can then keep up with her colleagues.”
I think the rest of us parents there had to exercise supreme control to keep from breaking out into applause and laughter. That proud daddy got his just comeuppance!
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to brag about our offspring. We may even do so when the bragging isn’t warranted. Does every drawing brought home from school by your child really need to be displayed on the refrigerator, even if you cannot tell what the drawing depicts and you know that no one in the art world would describe your child’s haphazard scribbles as a Masterpiece? Well, yes, those pictures do need to go on the refrigerator. That’s Standard Parenting 101.
Even Matthew 3:17 states, “And a voice came down from Heaven, and said, `This is my Son, with who I am well pleased.’” So, children and grandchildren brags are not the Biblically-unapproved type of bragging mentioned in Proverbs 16:18, which notes that “pride comes before a fall.” A parent or grandparent’s proud recognition of a child’s achievement only becomes arrogant when comparisons to other children are being made.
And that’s exactly where the Parsons Papa went wrong by obnoxiously comparing his daughter to all the other students present. Regardless of his daughter’s intelligence, she was still going to the same school with the rest of the freshman in the audience.
The professor’s response was justified and maybe even produced a little schadenfreude in most of us. I don’t know where schadenfreude falls on the moral compass (probably pettiness?), but that’s what I was feeling. (Sidebar: The German language has some great words!).
Upon hearing the professor’s response, Parsons Papa shut up and slunk down next to his daughter. His daughter, to her credit, had a flaming-red face which reflected her embarrassment, and I saw her slowly shake her head and mouth the words “Dad, no!” She had the good sense to be upset with her dad’s comparative boastfulness. She truly was the brains in that family.
Writers being arrogant is something I do not see too often. Why? Because we have all heard “no” and had our hearts broken by rejections a billion-million-thousand times (only a slight exaggeration, at least for me).
I have my own personal comeuppance story. When I was in college, majoring in Professional Writing, we students were assigned to write and submit a story to a confessional-style romance magazine that used to exist called True Confessions. I was the only one in the class whose story was purchased by the publication.
This acceptance for publication caused my head to get so big that I could barely walk upright. I almost tipped over when I received a check from True Confessions for $200. (This was in the 80s, so that amount of money was a gigantic sum for a struggling college student).
I was thrilled, thinking I had found a quick and easy way to pad my bank account while in college. I immediately sent in another story, and seemingly just as quickly and easily, that story was rejected -- almost before it even had time to arrive at the magazine’s New York office.
The good thing was that my ego and my head then shrunk back to their normal sizes. I no longer risked falling over while walking across campus.
I felt a lot of pride when Jamie walked across the stage in her gown and mortarboard during the graduation that was held at Madison Square Garden.
We had a lot to celebrate. A dress she made was chosen to be displayed in the store window of Saks Fifth Avenue (along with three other dresses from fellow students), and we attended a lavish reception hosted by the store.
My daughter banned me from posting about her on Facebook (or, as the youngsters call it, “old people Internet”). I only got caught because one of Jamie’s best friends messaged Jamie about my post that she had helped make some of the costumes for Bridgerton and The Gilded Age.
I post a link to my blogs on Facebook, so if you know my daughter, please do not tell her that I wrote about her work. I’m talking to you, Dr. Natalie with the good skin, as well as any others who might be attempted to spill the secret.
She has worked as a designer, seamstress, sewing teacher, stylist, model (runway, print, and fit), and tailor. She had at least six different jobs. I had six different jobs, too, but she is a lot smarter than I am because she got paid for all of her jobs. I only got paid for my career job.
Once, when she styled a shoot for Racked, she used a pair of my ancient boots in some of the photos. To see more of her work, visit www.jamiemccarty.com.
She tailored at photo shoots for famous people (including Tina Fey, Bill Murray, and 50 Cent). 50 Cent became obsessed with her pink tape measure and insisted that she be in a photo with him.
She has made Broadway costumes and worked on advertisements for Mean Girls, Pretty Woman, and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. She dazzled the collar worn by Billy Porter as the Fairy Godmother in Cinderella. She made costumes for rock singers and opera singers. She’s been in several videos.
At the beginning of the pandemic, she made masks for free and ensured that they were distributed to first-line workers. She got a shout-out in Smithsonian magazine:
Also, Jamie has an online vintage store. If vintage clothing is your cup of tea, check out: https://www.highfemmevintage.com/
Please feel free to post about the accomplishments of your child or grandchildren or nieces or nephews in the comments below, whether those brags are about your relative being Student of the Month or winning a Nobel prize or just existing (or all three).
And now, there’s more about me. (Eye roll expected). I was interviewed March 27, 2022, on a podcast called, “The Domino Effect of Murder.” The interview was about how secondary victims (those who love the murdered person) deal with life after the horrible event. (My niece was murdered in 2007, on the day after Thanksgiving). The podcast will be available this summer, and I will post a link once I have it.
Also, I have been invited to be part of Books and Bruises on April 23, 2022, which is an awesome opportunity for twenty-five different authors to sell books.
And, in accordance with the Rule of Three, I am compelled to say something else. That something is that I have already have one podcast interview, which you can listen to here (if you are so inclined):
Life is full of ups and downs, valid boasts, arrogant brags, and solid comeuppances. What do we writers do? Keep living. Keep breathing. Keep learning. Sometimes, shut up and sit down. As long as we are sitting down, we may as well be writing.
Looking at some of the shows on TV and in the movies, you should know that the sky is the limit for all of us writers. Remember, even if you encounter light rains at times, you can enjoy the rainbow when the sun comes out again. What we do when it comes to editors who don’t choose to publish our work? We can use the Survivor motto: Outwit, Outlast, Outplay. How do we do this? Refuse to let any rejection cause us to stop writing.
And now, I will shut up, sit down, and stop talking about writing. With love to you all, I have only one request: Help Ukrainians however you can. You can do any or all of these things:
Donate money if you are able to do so. NPR has provided a list of non-scam organizations: https://www.npr.org/2022/02/25/1082992947/ukraine-support-help
Boycott companies still doing business in Russia. Jeffrey Sonnenfeld and Yale Research Team update their list daily: https://som.yale.edu/story/2022/almost-500-companies-have-withdrawn-russia-some-remain
Pray! 1 Timothy 2:1-2, states, “I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way.” Let’s pray for Ukrainians to overcome the attack against them, then enjoy peaceful and quiet lives.
Those boots!
Loved reading all this, Lisbeth. Yes, I played Red Rover, Hide and Seek, Red Light/Green Light, Mother May I, and Tag. To this day, I play these with my Grands. Amazing accomplishments about your daughter--wow! I'm going to check out the links. And I'd like to hear about your upcoming podcast. Keep writing, keep writing!