Some people call autumn sweater weather, but it will always be soup weather to me. Once, on a rainy October day when my daughter Jamie was five years old, she asked me if she could have some soup. At the time, our microwave was on the blitz, and this was our actual conversation following her request:
Me: Jamie, I can’t make you any soup. The microwave is broken.
Jamie (in a forceful and instructive voice): Mom! You get a pan. You put it on the stove. You open the soup with a can opener. You pour the soup into the pan. You heat it up.
My five-year old daughter was right, temporarily smarter than the adult in the room (or perhaps more than temporarily). Fortunately for Jamie, she grew up to be an excellent cook. She always says that she learned to cook in self-defense to my cooking. Recently, she was even offered a job as a personal chef in exchange for rent in NYC. Have I mentioned previously that we are nothing alike?
[Warning: Sidebar of a Mom brag. My daughter returned to NYC to work during fashion week, then stayed. She also made costumes for Some Like It Hot, which opens on Broadway at the Shubert Theatre on November 1, 2022, with the official Broadway opening on December 11, 2022. Now, she is making costumes for Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Bad Cinderella, as well as costumes for a gangster movie with Robert DeNiro and Debra Messing. She and Debra Messing have the exact same waist size, so she is also the fit model for Messing’s clothing for the film. My daughter doesn’t read this. She would be mortified if she knew I was blabbing and posting photos of her.
End of sidebar].
Despite my daughter being able to cook much better than I do (although that’s a low bar), there is one simple soup that even I can pull off without the use of a microwave and with only a semblance of a recipe, and that is potato soup.
This was a soup that my mother used to make. I never noticed until much later the sheer economy of this soup, which is why potato soup always showed up on our menu when there were still a few days left until my dad got his next paycheck.
My little brother used to call all the soups Mom made “Group Soup.” This was because there was always a huge pan full of the soup, which was enough to feed all the people who were always at our house. The fact that everyone, both relatives and neighbors, spent a lot of time in my childhood home inspired the name of my memoir about Mom, titled Ours was the House
I am incapable of making less than a large quantity size of potato soup. Thus, the morning after I had made a delicious batch of potato soup for dinner, there was still plenty of soup left. I filled a thermos with this leftover potato soup for Jamie to take in her lunch. This single maternal act of providing my daughter’s lunch caused a dramatic disturbance in the elementary school cafeteria, a disruption so intense that it became known as Thermosgate. Jamie relayed the details of the incident to me when she came home from school that day.
When Jamie opened her thermos at the lunch table, a revolting, foul, and offensive stench emanated throughout the entire room. The fetid smell was met with a collective, “Ewwww!” from all the children, and some similar expressions of disgust from the teachers and cafeteria workers. No doubt, even critters in the woods behind the school had reactions to the horror.
Then, chaos reigned, with questions being asked and excited statements being made by everyone. The children shouted, “What is that? Jamie, what exactly did you have in that thermos? Ms. Green, do we need to evacuate the cafeteria? Are we going to die? Is school over for the rest of the year? Can I call my parents? I think my nose is bleeding. I can’t breathe. Call the doctor. Is Jamie going to be arrested? Is the fire department coming?”
Teachers said things like, “We need to open the windows. That smell is awful! Jamie, what does your mom feed you? Should we call the fire department?”
A cafeteria worker, reflecting the best sense of anyone present, suggested that all diners move into the gym for lunch. At least, she offered a solution while everyone else was just noting that the sky was falling (or, literally, that the odor was overwhelming). It was too cold to go outside, so the gym was the answer.
I like to think that the oxidation visited upon the soup once the thermos was opened caused the disgusting scent. Realistically, however, even though the potatoes in the soup were delicious the day before, they had probably turned rotten by the time Jamie was ready to eat lunch. This created noxious vapors, especially because the potatoes had been mixed with milk, a dairy product. Jamie was smart enough not to eat the soup.
https://foodboxhq.com/blog/how-to-tell-if-potatoes-have-gone-bad/
Children are funny. Although they first blamed Jamie for the fiasco because she had brought the soup in the thermos, their minds changed around when they realized that Jamie was the cause of something novel happening. Instead of Thermosgate ruining the entirety of elementary school for Jamie, the students were now thrilled to have the unusual act of going to the gym for lunch brighten their day. Thus, this increased (instead of decreased) Jamie’s popularity.
For the record, the thermos and its content were thrown away.
Anyway, if you use good potatoes and have not been thoroughly disgusted by the frightening tale of Thermosgate, here’s the recipe. Start to boil water. Peel and then quarter non-rotten potatoes. Throw onions and the potatoes in the soup pot. (I use the pre-chopped frozen onions). When the water returns to a boil, continue cooking until the potatoes are soft enough to cut with a spoon. Add butter (just throw some in), then add milk into the mixture until the water turns white. Heat until the butter is melted, then enjoy. I like to add a lid full of vinegar to my soup. To make this vegan, just use Smart Butter and Almond Milk.
I make the lazy style of potato soup. What my daughter makes as potato soup is even tastier. In addition to the basic recipe, she adds garlic, washed leeks, celery, chili powder, turmeric, mushrooms and white pepper. She uses coconut milk, and once the potatoes are softened, she adds frozen peas, then cooks until everything is heated.
The moral of this story is to be careful what you put into a thermos. Have you had any disasters that are related to using a thermos?
FUUNY! Very well told. You have a real storytelling touch. thank you, and also, the soup!!! A great way to get us to read on....Eliazabeth David, the late writer had this knack. thank you
I always use a bit of cornstarch to thicken my potato soup, in addition to chopped onions and carrots and a variety of spices, I add diced clams - so I guess it is really calm chowder.