December Justice

Yet another take on "A Visit from St Nicholas"

I shared this with all of my Facebook friends (some of those friends follow my Substack, too—thanks!), so I thought I should share it here, too (& on my paid Substack). I only wish I knew how to single-space a poem. (The poem block under ‘More” did not work for me. This poem was published in The Oklahoma Bar Journal Vol. 79 — No. 33 — 12/13/2008. With apologies to the good prosecutors everywhere and respect for the great defense attorneys everywhere, here goes:

This poem was published in The Oklahoma Bar Journal Vol. 79 — No. 33 — 12/13/2008. With apologies to the good prosecutors everywhere and respect for the great defense attorneys everywhere, here goes:
                                                    December Justice
By Lisbeth L. McCarty

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the court
All the lawyers were stirring with last-minute work. 
The judge was black-robed at the bench and declared, 
“I hope that you lawyers are all well-prepared.”

The prosecutor performed the voir dire with great care 
In hopes that jurors would give the defendant ‘The Chair.’
Other prisoners were nestled, all snug in their chains 
While visions of freedom danced through their brains. 

But the one jolly defendant who was named Mr. Claus 
Claimed innocence with such vigor that it gave them all pause.
Then, the prosecutor jumped up and stated so quick,
“This unworthy bum uses the alias ‘St. Nick.’

He was breaking and entering through the roof of a house. 
He’s guilty as sin! C’mon, fry the louse! 
Oh, believe me, dear jurors, his bad deeds are real. 
He even took in a bag for the things he would steal!”

As the prosecutor droned on in his ‘reversible’ way,
The jurors were awakened by the sound of a sleigh.
Yes, out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter
The spectators rushed out to see what was the matter.

Well, what would their wondering eyes behold
But a company of criminal defense lawyers unfold?
The sleigh was driven, of course, by Saint Justinian, 
Who shouted, “That prosecutor cannot defeat any of us!”

Itching for action, the lawyers started to squirm 
As Justinian commenced with a roll call of the firm.
He said, “We know Santa entered a not-guilty plea.
Let’s go show the D.A. how tough we can be.”

Then Justinian told the judge, “Let’s examine that sack.” 
And he dumped out the contents of Mr. Claus’ pack. 
Suddenly, the floor was filled with great toys 
That Mr. Claus was taking to all girls and boys.

“Why, this man wasn’t stealing at all,” said the judge. 
“Instead, it’s been proven, his heart’s full of love.” 
The jurors applauded as Mr. Claus was released. 
The prosecutor turned red and looked at his feet.

Claus said, “Oh, you’ve helped all right, Justinian. 
But how can I pay you? You know I am penniless.” 
Then, suddenly, Claus brightened and slapped his big belly. 
(And, of course, it shook like a bowl full of jelly.)

He reached into his bag while the lawyers waited agog
And pulled out a Best Buy catalog. 
“Order your pleasure, send the bill to the North Pole 
In care of dear Santa . . . And now, I must go.”

The defense lawyers were stunned because it seemed so bizarre 
To be soon owning gifts they’d always admired from afar. 
They were so pleased that they gave Santa their sleigh.
 (They all owned defense mobiles, anyway.)

And driving from sight, then shouted Santa Claus,
“Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and Justice to All!”

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